Mother’s Day has come on gone. Mom has gotten her flowers and everything has gone back to normal. There are toilets to be cleaned and clothes to be washed. There are meals to be cooked and kids to be raised. The celebration is over. The aftermath is real. This is your reality. This is when you breathe. This is when you rest. This is when you take a moment. No need to be overwhelmed. There will always be something that needs to be done. There will always be an errand that needs to be ran. Wooh- sah. For self care suggestions and drink recipes visit https://mommieneedsamoment.com.
Filtering by Tag: motherhood
Everyone has a different journey to motherhood. Some become mothers through marriage, like myself. Some become mothers through adoption or surrogacy. Some become mothers through pregnancy. No matter how you found yourself with the title of mother, your children are your heart. Their words can inspire you and cut you. They show you your best and worse version of yourself. They teach you lessons everyday. They make you smile. They make you cry and its all worth it. A mother’s heart is filled with endless love for her children.
psalm- noun a sacred song or hymn, in particular any of those contained in the biblical Book of Psalms and used in Christian and Jewish worship.
If you've ever read the Book of Psalms, you know that the content ranges from joy to desperation. There are high notes and solemn ones. There are moments of encouragement and moments of despair and hopelessness. Motherhood has moments of pure bliss and confusion. There are days when it all seems like too much. There are days when we we feel like giving up, and there are days when we feel like its all worth it. A mother's psalm isn't always a top ten hit. Sometimes, its another sad love song. And sometimes, its a reminder that you're every woman. A mother's psalm is whatever song you choose to sing. It's remembering that motherhood is not a singular journey. Its reminding yourself that you were blessed with a divine gift. A mother's psalm is your personal praise.
I grew up in barbershops and salons. In the African American community, this is where uncensored conversations about sex, money, politics, current events and religion occurred. As a child, I knew better than to join the conversation, but I did learn how to listen and digest what I was hearing. I learned to see things from a variety of perspectives whether I agreed or not. I learned about consequences from foolish behavior. I learned about successes from hard work. I learned that relationships are complicated. I learned that marriage takes work. I learned what men want and what women desire.
I learned to respect these "jewels" that were given. I learned that everything did not have to be experienced, and that I could learn vicariously. These men and women gave me "jewels" I still carry. They gave me wisdom and insight. I thank God for all the lessons and all the love given to this "young buck." I thank God for the men who stood in the place of my father and all the "mothers" who raised me.
I was blessed to have a host of strong women around me. My grandmother dropped domestic jewels and was my first example of a wife and mother. My mother is an enduring example of strength and perseverance. My godmother is an example of what fortitude looks like and one of my earliest examples of what it meant to truly blend a family. I have a host of mentors, "aunties", play cousins and friends who constantly shower me with "jewels" from their joy, their pain, and their triumphs.
Thank you for your time, your tenth, and your talent. Thank you for showing me that marriage and motherhood doesn't look the same for everyone. Thank you for your jewels. Happy Mother's Day.
Who holds you accountable? Is it your husband? Is it your wife? Is it your sister or brother? Is it your mother or father? Is it your friend? Is it God? There should be someone in your life who you respect to keep you in check. There should be someone who can encourage you when you are down, chastise you when you're wrong, and celebrate you when you are victorious. If you don't have someone, I challenge you to find an accountability partner. You need someone to show you the man or woman in the mirror. You need someone to give you a gut check with love. Be present. Be accounted for and be accountable.
I assure you this is not about the psychological horror film written and directed by Darren Aronofsky. I am sure some of you would describe motherhood as a psychological horror. I can admit that I have compared childbirth to scenes from the Alien franchise. I have daydreamed about my own nuclear family. However, as God would have it, I became a mother. No, I am not pregnant. I willingly chose to love, care, protect and nurture two little girls. I willingly chose to be present in their lives. Motherhood is a choice to be present even when all parties involved don't make the same choice. I am a mother. Many of you are mothers. Motherhood is defined by presence not presents. Its definition is not always nuclear. Sometimes, it's blended. Sometimes, it's mended. Sometimes, it's complicated. Regardless, it doesn't negate the fact that you are a mother.
Motherhood means something different to me these days. I used to define motherhood as someone who has given birth, or someone who has adopted children. However, my own personal journey has given me a few more insights. Motherhood begins with a choice. It is a choice to bring forth life, as well as a choice to nurture the life someone else has given. I made a choice to do the latter, and hopefully one day will do the former.
Motherhood is about tenacity. It is a job you never retire from. You never get a vacation, or a PTO day. The reward is often delayed. The routine is mundane. The laundry is endless. The volume is always high, but it is worth it.
I have a profound new respect for my own mother. Her tenacity is endless. Her prayers ceaseless. Her love limitless. Happy Mother's Day Mattie Mae, and to all the mothers everywhere. You are needed. You are appreciated. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are passionate. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are wise. You are blessed.