Xenial

It's holiday season. Fall decorations are on sale. Turkeys can be preordered. Holiday menus are being planned. Party invitations are being sent. It's all about hospitality. As you prepare your homes to entertain guests, make sure that you prepare your heart. Make sure that you have a xenial spirit. A xenial spirit is a hospitable spirit, one that is giving, loving and kind. 

"Hospitality is not about inviting people into your perfect home, it’s about inviting them into your imperfect heart."

Quiet

Every now and again, we need to retreat to ourselves. We need to take the time to get away from it all. We need to listen to our thoughts. We need to hear ourselves think. We need to revel in silence. We need to just be quiet. 

“Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.” -Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati

Optimize

Businesses are always trying to optimize their profit margins. They try to optimize their website for search engines. They try to make sure they get the most bang for their buck. Optimization is all about efficiency. It's interesting that we optimize every aspect of our professional lives, and fail to be as efficient personally. We must make sure that we maximize every opportunity. We must exhaust our resources to ensure that we are taking advantage of every situation. I believe that if we truly optimize our relationships, friendships, and personal network that we could build the impossible. We have the capability to overcome obstacles. If we truly optimize our potential, the possibilities are limitless. 

Vow

 "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"

Isn't it interesting that marriage requires you to agree to something before you have knowledge of it? Marriage makes you say, "yes" to the unknown. Most of us have a problem with this level of commitment. We want to weigh all of our options. We want to make an educated decision. We want to pick and choose our vows. Not possible. We will never know what the "worse" is, or what "poorer" really looks like. We can only value the gift of our spouse, and choose to honor our vows regardless. We have to remember our vows when challenges occur in our relationships. We have to "love and cherish till death do us part."

Loyalty

"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses." -Ann Landers

There is a reason that wedding vows include "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." It speaks to the human condition. We are naturally selfish. We don't tend to put someone else's needs, wants, and desires before our own.  When things get rough, we innately want to leave. Loyalty is about ignoring our instincts. It is about being selfless. Loyalty is about enduring the vicissitudes of life. It's about mutual respect and love.   

Connect

"When you connect to someone on a human level, and you get to know about them, you can begin to love the things that make them different. That's when fear dissipates, and that's when we can live the life that we're all supposed to be living."-Ruth Negga

We have more in common with each other than we have differences. It's always easier to identify what's different. We exist in a series of adjectives instead of nouns. We are all human. We all have blood flowing through our veins. We all need love. We are all the same when it counts. Our adjectives cease to matter when we choose to see how we connect. Tragedy connects us. Experiences connect us. Life connects us.