Happily Ever After
I love all things Disney. I love Mickey Mouse. I have a collection of Minnie Mouse Ear Headbands. And while I love Disney, it is partially the reason why some of us have disillusions about love. Disney for all intents and purposes invented the fairytale and mass marketed it to little girls. We believed that "Someday our Prince would Come," and we would live "Happily Ever After." At least, that's how it worked out in the movies. Our parents didn't always remind us that it was "make believe." Some of us still have this notion that our "fairy godmother" is going to fix everything, so we can go to the ball. I'm not saying that your "happily ever after" won't happen. I am saying that you have to be realistic in your search and your expectations. Your Prince Charming might be a little sarcastic. Your Princess might have a little baggage. I'm saying that just because you're not married with kids doesn't mean you won't be.
He looked at me and said aren’t you a little old to believe in fairytales?
And I looked at him and smiled… and even though I wanted to yell …“no”
I explained to him that ever since we are little girls, we are taught to wait on our knight in shining armor,
Though they never told us that his armor might be a little tarnished
Or that in his search for you there were many other princesses who fit into your glass shoe
And that before sleeping with you he was sleeping with Beauty
Mama never told us that our Prince Charming just might be a Beast
And sometimes it easier for him to save a damsel in distress
Than to stress himself over our unrealistic expectations
To rescue us from towers of insecurities of our own creation
All because the last prince made promises he never intended to keep
I wanted to tell him that you’re never too old to believe in fairytales
As long as you know that nobody’s perfect
And happily ever after usually follows a slew of broken spells,
And some heartache and pain, and that’s just on the surface
That’s not all the soul searching or death defying tasks that only true love would ask
That’s not getting on bended knee with the possibility of you rejecting me, all in hopes loving eternally….
That’s not accepting your kids as my own, and making a home
That’s not forgiveness, or agreeing to disagree
That’s not trusting again even though you’ve been hurt…
He looked at me and said aren’t you a little old to believe in fairytales?
And I looked at him and smiled and said….Love is a fairytale and that’s always worth believing in….
Interest
The year is 1995. The New York hip hop scene is blowing up. Biggie Smalls aka Notorious B.I.G dropped his LP "Ready to Die" the fall of the previous year. The single "Big Poppa" peaks at number six on the Billboard charts. Every hip hop head from New York to Miami memorized the lyrics to this anthem. It was an ode to overweight lovers everywhere, that dripped of confidence and swag. One of my favorite lines was, "ask what your interests are, who you be with, things to make you smile, what numbers to dial, you gon' be here for a while, I'm gon' go call my crew, you go call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around two."
The year is 2017. It's been 20 years since Biggie's death. The music scene has changed drastically since 1995. Love songs are sexual innuendos. Gender is fluid. Trump is president, and we have little interest in anything. Relationships don't exist. They are situationships. Courtship is a thing of the past, and chivalry is almost dead. When was the last time someone asked you what you were interested in? When was the last time you spent hours on the phone instead of sending a text or a snapchat? When was the last time you wrote a letter instead of sending an email? Technology has its advantages, but it has changed the way we communicate. We have replaced nicknames with handles. We have substituted quality time for FaceTime. We have simplified our existence to 155 characters or less. We have lost interest in each other.