Counting the Cost
My news feed is filled with Chadwick Boseman tributes. There are so many statements about the testament of his character. For all accounts, he was an amazing human being with a legacy for the ages. I have to admit, I’ve been a fan since 42 and followed his career. More than his films, I’m impressed by how he lived his life. I can only imagine receiving a terminal diagnosis at the height of my career, and still choosing to live. He choose to still use and share his gifts regardless of how long he had left on this Earth. He chose to work despite his pain. He chose to give despite his need. He chose to encourage despite his own diagnosis. He chose art. He chose charity. All of us will have to count the cost. We will have to make decisions and ask ourselves, “is it worth it?” Will my gifts last? Does my life matter? Will my actions make life better for someone else? If the reward is greater than this risk, then it’s probably worth it. Counting the cost is the easy part. Living despite the cost is the hard part. Thank you Chadwick for doing the hard part, for giving us you in spite of your circumstances. #wakandaforever
Lament
noun
a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.
verb-
1: to express sorrow, mourning, or regret for often demonstratively :
2: to regret strongly
We all express regret or sorrow in different ways. We all have been touched by this pandemic in ways we couldn’t imagine. Solitude has a way of exacerbating our emotions. Lack of human connection and social distancing can negatively affect our psyche. Find ways to allow yourself to feel without going down the rabbit hole. Breathe. Cry. Scream. Write. Get it out. Lament!
Confession
James 5:16 KJV Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Confession was something I had only seen in Catholicism. I was raised Baptist. The closest thing to confession was maybe an altar call or a testimony service. Confession was a foreign concept. I could not see myself pouring out my soul like Usher in 2004.
Yet therapy is just that…confession. It is allowing myself to be vulnerable all to discover I’m not alone in my struggle. It is recognizing that healing is on the other side of my pain. Confession is good for the soul. It makes the burdens of life easier to bear.
Yesterday, was suicide prevention day. Ironically, a mental health advocate and associate pastor of a megachurch committed suicide. We are not above suffering. Nor should we suffer in silence. We should not hide behind the masks of joy or faith. If you find yourself feeling hopeless, or that you are out of options…reach out using the link below: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Or call 1-800-273-8255.
Ambiguous Loss
I remember Lauren London saying that grief is the last act of love. Queen Elizabeth II, said, "grief is the price we pay for love." Since my mother's diagnosis, I have been forced to grieve the mother I once knew. I found myself in therapy to help me navigate a loss that technically hasn't occurred yet. I was not completely familiar with the term "ambiguous loss." It's basically experiencing loss without closure. Its complicated because it can often delay the process of grieving. Those who experience ambiguous loss could be the result of cognitive decline, like my mother, to a missing loved one, to an unresolved relationship. My challenge to you today is my challenge to myself. If this is something you are experiencing, give yourself room to feel. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. Enjoy every glimmer of hope. Remind yourself that in the end, the lessons and the love make it all worthwhile. Create a support system, and utilize them. This experience should not be navigated alone. You are not alone. Loss be it ambiguous or physical is a part of the human experience. Remember, that God's words says, "he will not leave nor forsake us. Death nor life can separate us from the love of God."
Release
The totality of the human experience can be described on the spectrum of love and loss. We are blessed to experience love and often devastated by the loss of it. Sometimes, it seems like we experience more loss than love. Count it all joy. For every tear, there was a smile. For every moment that feels like you can't breathe, there was a moment that left you breathless. Love and loss are two sides of the same coin. Cherish the love. Release the loss. Let it go.